Thursday, March 1, 2012

Wolverines!!!

Red Dawn (1984) 

Directed by John Milius 

Today I bring you one of my all time favorite '80's action movies...Red Dawn. This is a classic movie that has been on HBO more times than I can count, I can count pretty damn high too.  This movie has some good trivia too, because of this movie is the reason we have PG-13 today. It is just violent enough to miss that R rating. This movie along with Poltergeist lead the MPAA to create a new rating, boom we have PG-13. The greatest rating for a 11 year old boy looking for a movie with just the right amount of nudity and violence.

This flick came out at a time with America was in the middle of the Wold War with Russia. So why not make a movie where we get Russia and Cuba, the most evil nations on the planet back in the '80's, to take over America and cause WWIII. This was the biggest fear back then, not so much today. God knows we love movies where we beat the hell out of our enemies, Rocky IV and my all time favorite Iron Eagle. These movies were everywhere back then and America ate them up.

The film starts off like any other day in the lovely town of Calumet, Colorado, because where else would Russia attack America and start to take over. The day is a new day and class is in session when out of nowhere soldiers start to land outside the window of the school. The teacher heads outside to see what the problem is and BLAM-O he is shot down like a dog, thus starts the greatest on screen adventure of our time. Some of the kids jump into a truck and try to head out of town. I do find it funny that the only kids that leave are the jocks, makes you think.

The starting line of the Calumet football team heads out of town loaded to the gills with guns and supplies. Some time passes by and the leader of the football team heads into town to check it out. Guess what...the town is lost to the Russians and Cubans. Jed and Matt find their dad who warns them that everything they love is gone and they need to fight back. The boys head back to the group of teens and decide it is time to fight back. They form the Wolverines in hopes that their school mascot will strike fear in the hearts of those commie bastards.

Thank God that the school was named after the wolverine and not something lame. The teens train themselves in fighting styles of the military and they sure pick it up fast and furious. They start to turn the tide of the war back to the American side. I almost forgot along the way they pick up two girls, you have to have girls. They pick up that Baby girl from Dirty Dancing and Mary Mcflys mom from Back to the Future. Everything is going great for this young taliban group of teens. They even run into a pilot that got shot down, the great Powers Booth, who teaches them some tricks. But like everything in this world Mr. Booth gets shot down along with two other brats and thus begins our heroes down fall.

From this moment on in the picture these Wolverines start to drop like flies. But fear not because Jed and Matt take it right to the leader of the Russian/Cuba army. I won't ruin the end for you but I just hope that the US can prevail and win this made up Hollywood war.

The movie is full of big time stars that were just starting out. We have Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Charlie Sheen, Jennifer Grey, Powers Booth, and Darren Dalton...wait who the hell is Darren Dalton.

I saw this movie when I was 10 and it was the greatest movie back then. Watching it again sure gives me great pride to be American, or something like that. If you haven't seen this Forgotten Classic please check it out. If you have watch it again and again, it is a good teaching tool about how to form you own group of cool teenagers and fight back against the commies.

Till next time...

10/10

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Power Glove sucked

The Wizard (1989)

Directed by Todd Holland

Who didn't love Nintendo back in the day. It was the greatest thing next to sliced bread when I was a kid back in the '80's. Apparently some movie producers saw the greatness and decided to make a movie about a handy capable kid that just kicks ass at Nintendo. They got together and but their minds together and said, "hey let's get that kid from TV and make a road video game movie."

That brings us The Wizard, directed by the underrated Todd Holland. He directed Fright Night, also reviewed on this site. The movie for all better purposes is a two hour commercial for Nintendo and more importantly the Power Glove, more and that later. The movie stars Fred Savage in the middle of Wonder Years. It also has Beau Bridges and of course the always underrated Kuffs, I mean Christian Slater. You thought I was gonna say Heathers. 

Fred Savage really delivers the goods in this movie. I really consider this the last of his great movie trilogy. The first is Vise Versa and the second is Little Monsters, soon to the site.  The real star is Luke Edwards as the "special kid" or wizard if you will. The story goes that he lost his twin sister and blah blah blah he goes to California to win $50,000 in a Nintendo tournament. 

Along the way they meet up with a girl that wants in on the money and they meet a bully who owns the worlds only power glove... 

What an asshole. Where was I...oh yeah so the asshole kid beats the wizard and he turns to even more of a tard. While all of this is going on Slater and Bridges and bonding and trying to find his brother and his kid. It is a very long and boring side story with very few video games involved.

Team tard makes it to Cali and off we go to the Nintendo tournament. The wizard kicks ass and we get a clip of one of my favorite games ever Super Mario Bros. 3. First game I ever pre-ordered.  I won't ruin it and tell you if the wizard wins the tournament but he does and all is right with the world.

This is a very long Nintendo commercial and god I love it. It has great games and the power glove and the always delightful Fred Savage, just wish we could have got some Winnie Cooper thrown into the movie.

On a side note my friend owned the power glove and it sucked something awful, it never worked right and you couldn't use it for shit. 

For all of us at the Junkie we welcome The Wizard to our Forgotten Classic vault.

4/10