It's no Lethal Weapon

Tango & Cash (1989)

Directed by Andrey Konchalovskiy and Albert Magnoli

I really miss the buddy cop movies of the late '80's. They were all the same but really different at the same time. This one is about two white cops, one is uptight and the other is a slop. It's kind of like The Odd Couple with guns and a prison shower scene. 

Tango & Cash is about two cops named Tango and Cash played with Shakespearean ease by Stallone and Russell. This was a turning point in Stallone's career, he was coming off a few flops with Over the Top, Rambo III and Lock Up, man Sly loves those shower scenes in jail. Let's just say that this movie didn't help him out to good. Russell on the other hand is a legend and I will no soil his good name. The guys was Jack Burton. Where was I oh yeah so Cash & Tango are narcotic detectives who are so good that they get framed by the one guy they should have put away along time ago.

You need a few things when you make a buddy cop flick let's go down the list:

1. You need a bad guy with a crazy name.
2. Need a hot girl.
3. Cool car and guns.
4. Witty banter between the leads.

Damn it this movie has them all!!!

The villain is played by the great Jack Palance as Yves Perre, crazy name. The second baddie is played by the late great Brion James as Requin. The Hot girl is played by Teri Hatcher, back when she was hot. The car in this flick is a suped up SUV with guns and the whole works. This movie does have some great witty banter between Cash and Tango.

The movie really picks up when the boys go to jail and have to deal with all the guys they have ever put away. I never understand these movie bad guys, if it is that easy to set these guys up why not just kill them and be done with it. They always have to draw it out and make them suffer. If I made a buddy cop picture I would just have the bad guy kill them in the first ten minutes. That would be a great flick.

This movie gave the world a great word and that is FUBAR. Now I don't know if this movie came up with the word or not but it is a great word and I always think of this movie when I hear it.

I love this movie for all of its flaws and bad acting and corny jokes. I think I'm gonna go buy after I write this. So check out Tango & Cash and see greatness at work and then we can all go get FUBAR afterward. Another forgotten classic done.

Till next time...

7/10

Top 10 - 1980's Movie Villains #5 - 1

It was a long weekend that means it is time to see the Top 5 movie villains of the '80's. I don't know how we made it this long to see this list. I guess the world didn't end if you are reading this. I heard it really ends on 10.21.11. We always have to wait for everything. Check out the links under the pictures for a cool video. Here is the rest of the list...

5.1. David Lo Pan - Big Trouble in Little China

Lo Pan's death!!! 

This villain is so bad ass that he can't die...but he does and that is why he is number 5.1. Played by the always insane James Hong, he is in everything, trust me. He can live forever, well as long as he gets an Asian girl with green eyes. It is that easy to live forever, gotta find me one of them. Oh yeah he shoots beams of light out of his eyes and he has long finger nails always a sign of being evil.

5.2. Johnny Lawrence - The Karate Kid

 

Fight scene on the beach!!! 

I made two number 5's because you can't have a '80's list without Johnny Lawrence played by the always a dick head William Zabka. This guy is out of his mind in the flick. He beats the living crap out of poor Daniel from beginning to end. I mean how do you not call the cops on these kids. The funny thing about this movie is I always wanted to be in the Cobra Kai dojo, they were just so bad ass. Who didn't want to be a skeleton for Halloween after seeing this movie. On to number 4.

4. Bennett - Commando

Bennett's last fight!!! 

This is my favorite Arnold movie ever and it is because of this crazy bastard. Played by Vernon Wells the bad guy from the Road Warrior which just makes him even more cooler. I love villains that are just bat shit crazy and Bennett fills the bill. His death is by far one of the best scenes in the movie. God bless you Vernon Wells for giving the world such a crazy out of his mind villain.

3. Kurgan - Highlander

The best part with the Kurgan!!! 

You gotta love a killer that beheads people and then rapes their wives and kills their best friends. The Kurgan was played by the amazing Clancy Brown who always delivers on his roles no matter what he is in. I love Highlander for the Kurgan. Any movie where the only way to kill the bad guy is by cutting his head off, well sign me up for that movie. The picture says it all. Who could number 2 be well he is next.

2. Clarence Boddicker - Robocop

Boddicker at his best!!! 

Kurtwood Smith has to be a scary guy in real life. If you have ever seen Robocop or Fortress or even That '70's Show. He plays Clarence Boddicker in Robocop like he is really trying to cause anarchy and destroy Detroit. I love when Mr. Cop keeps throwing him through every glass window in the building, classic scene. His death scene is still one of my favorite all time. I almost made him number one but I feel my number one is pretty good. Rest in peace Mr. Boddicker hope you find what your looking for.

1. Hans Gruber - Die Hard

Hans!!! 

Ladies and gentlemen I give you number one with a bullet...sorry for the bad joke. That's right it is no other than Hans Gruber from Die Hard. Alan Rickman owns this role and that's why he is number one. Every time I see Rickman in a movie all I think about is the first and best Die Hard. I love this movie and all of it's sequels. But the one thing they have never been able to out do is the first bad guy. You can never have a better villain in a movie. He wears a suit he speaks the kings English, he wears a bad ass beard. I felt sorry for him in the movie all he wanted was money and be done with it, but there is always a wise ass cop that will stop at nothing to bring down an excellent villain like Gruber. I tip my hat to you Mr. Gruber for being number 1 on a low rent blog that has a few followers. Congrats!!!


Next time I'm gonna do my top 10 1980's movie badasses.


Till then...