The Destroyer: The Movie

 

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)

Directed by Guy Hamilton 

This is one of the many movies that reminds me of visiting my father on the weekends. He was really excited to see this picture and for good reason. This flick is absolutely amazing because of one thing: Fred Ward. He is a above the rest kind of actor who totally kicks ass in a little picture called Tremors. That's right Tremors, best giant worm eating human movie ever. Don't give me that Dune shit, everyone knows that flick was terrible.

Anyway where was I; oh yeah Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. The movie is based on a series of books called The Destroyer series. What a series this is, there are over 100 novels in the series. I for one want to see all 145+ books made into movies. Sure it take awhile but I think it would be worth and the world would be better off. Show me one reference where I am wrong.

Go ahead.

Nothing?

That's what I thought. 

Remo is about a cop that is recruited into a secret United States organization called CURE. They are a group of assassins that have been around since WWI and work outside of the law. CURE fakes Remo's death and presto he is Remo Williams assassin for the US. He is trained in Sinanju an ancient kung-fu by Chiun, played by Joel Grey. Yes it is Jennifer Grey's father, the girl with the big nose from Red Dawn. Grey is not Asian, it was make up and they won an Oscar for it. Hey my first Oscar winning on Video Junkie.

The movie is directed by Guy Hamilton, director of a shit load of James Bond movies. Right there you know this will rock because Remo is an American spy, just not to smart and not many women. The movie also has Wilford Brimley, you know the guy that gives people diabetes or what ever he does now. He plays the head of CURE and Remo's boss.

A large part of the movie is Remo training with Chiun. Some of the funniest scenes are with Ward and Grey. They develop a real father son kinship. Remo learns to walk on water and dodge bullets, what else would you learn as a assassin for the United States. Right there you know the film is based in facts not like those silly Bond movies.

This really is a great movie and pretty funny in some parts with lots of action sprinkled here and there. 

It's nice to watch this again and remember that Saturday afternoon when my father took me to see a little known movie call Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. If we can only get Hollywood to do The Adventure Continues that would be a gold mine.

So check out Remo you won't be disappointed. This movie makes me want to eat a lot of rice for some reason.

9/10

 

Dear John Hollywood...Please Stop

    Can someone please tell me what happened to Hollywood? When did these leaders of the new world decide that they are out of new ideas and start remaking every movie possible? 
    Or is this the new idea to rehash an older movie, some that are only a few years old. Spider-Man I'm looking in your direction. In the old days of Hollywood if a remake took place it was because the first time around it wasn't that good. For God sakes even Hitchcock remade his own movie and made it better. That makes sense to me and I guess the five other people that are sick of remakes.
    I'll be the first to admit I didn't mind the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Because let's be honest the zombie thing has been done to death and it always works in my mind. They could have called that movie by any name and I would have watched it because it had zombies. Now I heard they are remaking Fright Night, one of my all time favorites. I say watch the original people it is such a fresh and original ideas for back in the 80's. We don't need all of these remakes, we've seen them already. 
    I found a list of 55 movies on the remake fast track. Now this list is a little old, some have already been remade. Some of the films make no sense what so ever. I can't wait to get in line and pay $10 to see a movie that I've seen before and most likely I own. I'll be damned if I pay to see Red Dawn again or Near Dark. If they ever go with their amazing plan to remake Evil Dead I will kill someone I swear to God. I don't care if Bruce is involved, just make a 4th one that's what everyone wants.
    Thanks Hollywood for being unoriginal and uninspired to make anything new. When I say new I mean new idea not new remake. One more thing Hollywood changing the name doesn't make it new, Disturbia is just Rear Window. Can't fool me twice. Tomorrow a great Hollywood classic Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.

55 Movies to be remade!!! 

This is a very hands on Camp...

 

Space Camp (1986)

Directed by Harry Winer

Back in 1985 a group of producers got together and thought to themselves, "Goonies kicked ass what else can we do with kids?" Ladies and gentlemen we bring you Space Camp! I grew up in the 80's and I'll be honest...space was pretty cool back then. Being a astronaut was a pretty sweat gig. I knew everything about space and going to a camp all about space sounded like the bee's knees. So I guess in hind sight it was a good idea to base an entire movie around space camp. One small thing happened on the way to the Oscars...the Challenger exploded and let's just say that Space Camp became a nightmare to release. That and the movie is totally unbelievable... like Tate Donovan can ever be in anything good.

The plot of this masterpiece is a bunch of teenagers get shot off to space, by mistake and by a robot for that matter, and they have to get back using their wits. If I was one of these kids my wits would get us killed in about a second. Especially if I was stuck in space with Tate Donovan; the horror.

The group of fiesty teenagers are played by Tate Donovan as the cool hip kid that only goes to space camp so he can have a jeep. When my child gets older that's how she'll get her car, "sorry honey gotta pick a camp". We also have Lea Thompson as a brainy girl who thinks she has all the answers, pretty much that same character she has ever played. My personal favorite Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds, played by the guy that played Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds except not so gay. Kelly Preston, Mrs. John Travolta, plays the dim witted blonde who is actually smart. Joaquin Phoenix, before going bat shit crazy, plays Max the youngest of our Goonies...I mean space campers.

 

We have to have adults who are played by Mrs. Spielberg, Kate Capshaw and the always amazing Tom Skerritt. They play husband and wife astronauts; one of whom have been on the moon and the other is jealous; guess who is who. 

I almost forgot the greatest character in the movie; Jinx the Johnny 5 like robot who puts this whole adventure into motion. Jinx is best friends with Max and is considered a $27-million handyman. I thought NASA wasted money but holy shit talk about pissing your money away.

This movie is so cookie cutter it is amazing. The kids all have flaws that they all over come by the end of the greatest adventure of our time. The one flaw that is not over come is the fact that Tate Donovan is in the movie. You think NASA would just leave up there to die along with the rest of this stellar cast.

Space Camp is one of those movies that you can watch once and realize that Hollywood has a new remake they need to fast track.

So please walk don't run to watch SC again, that's what the cool kids call it, or watch it for the first time. You'll laugh you'll cry but mainly you'll cry because you're watching SC. Till next time...

5/10

King of the Winter Carnival

Real Genius (1985)

Directed By Martha Coolidge

This is one movie that people just have to see before they die. I have seen this flick at least over a hundred times on cable and VHS and so on. But the funny thing is, I've never owned it. I first saw this movie way back in 1986 I would say; of course on the lovely HBO of the 80's. It is one of my favorite movies and has some of the best one liners around. 

The movie is Revenge of the Super Nerds; with no nudity. The film is about a school for the very gifted students of the world. They are wicked smart. 

It was directed by Martha Coolidge, of Valley Girl fame, and stars a very young Val Kilmer, starring in his second movie following the very underrated Top Secret. Gabriel Jarret plays the very female looking Mitch and Michelle Meyrink, from Revenge of the Nerds, plays Jordan; Mitch's love interest. Rounding out the cast is William Atherton as, you guessed it the bad guy, Jerry Hathaway and some actor playing Kent the asshole on campus.

Kilmer stars as Chris Knight, you know the guy: he is smart but he is a slacker with the heart of gold. Jarret plays Mitch, he is fifteen in this movie...okay, as the other super smart kid but kind of an stuck up girl. No really Mr Jarret looks very girly in this movie, just saying. These two "genius" are brought together to help get a laser up and running for what they think is the school for fun. Mr Hathaway has the kids making a laser for the army to kill people. Play the evil sounding music please. If they don't finish this laser Knight will not graduate. Oh no what will ever happen?

Living at this school is Kent played by no one at all. Kent is the side kick to Mr Hathaway and kisses his ass the whole movie. Kent is a dick people plain and simple. It is up to Knight to torture the hell out of him at all cost. Some of the best scenes are build around this premise.

This movie is very Animal House in nature, but no nudity, because they play pranks with the jerks of the school. The bad guy is very clueless throughout the movie even though they are all beyond smart. Mitch gets picked on till he learns the only way to get over it is to fight back.

Real Genius gets real serious near the end when the boys find out the real plan for the laser. As usual I won't ruin it for those few who have never seen it. But I hope they get even with him. Just have a BIG bowl of popcorn and watch.

I just want to add that William Atherton plays the best dicks around. He was Walter Peck in Ghostbusters and the asshole reporter in Die Hard and Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Sometimes being typecast is a very good thing. If they make Ghostbusters 3 they really need to bring him back. I'm just saying.

This movie is very 80's. The music is everywhere the characters are very 80's, the main girl is a cute nerd.

So everyone should watch this movie just once. At least to see the guy that lives in the closet. So check it out for the first time or watch it again like me. Till the next forgotten classic....

Good my popcorn is ready...man there's a lot.

9/10