Airborne (1993)
Directed by Rob Bowman
Before you start to yell at me for this movie being anywhere on my page let me just start off with the 5 things that make this movie rock your socks off.
- It has Jack Black
- It has people named Blane and Wiley.
- It has a very ginger Seth Green
- It has a future playboy model as the female lead
- It has Snake...
The movie stars the future never to be heard of again, Shane McDermott. He went on the become a city councilman or something. He plays surfer boy Mitchell Goosen who's parents inform him that they are going on a trip to Australia to study plant life. On catch though, Mitchell can't go because he has school. His parents know that he is a surfer and they go to Australia and don't take their kid. Cool parents. Don't they realize that Mitch is so burned out that is really doesn't matter if he finishes school or not. Wake up and smell the pot head kid. Instead of hot chicks and Crocodile Dundee Mitch gets shipped off to the amazing dream like city of Cincinnati, Ohio. I love how when Goosen gets off the plane they show it snowing just to emphasize just how shitty it is in Ohio, hey director we get it, Ohio is a hell hole.
Once in the magic city of Cincinnati we meet the rest of our A-list cast. Seth Green plays Wiley, Mitch's cousin who thinks he is the man. I'll give it to Green he is what makes this movie watchable if only for a second. The first day of school Mitch finds out that his cousin is a loser and the school hates his California hippie way of life. Well except for the girls, my god they all want a piece of the Goosen.
The bullies make no sense in this flick. Jack played by some guy from The Next Karate Kid, Augie played by a semi young Jack Black and Snake played by some typical Spanish gang leader that is in the wrong movie. think he is a left over from Stand & Deliver. So these big time jocks hate Wiley and the Goosen but for some odd ass reason they make them play in their off the books hockey game with the, get this name of the rival gang, The Preps. Come on writer, what is this a spin off of The Outsiders. Of course Goosen messes up and loses the game and everyone hates him but it is cool because he doesn't care from all the weed and Cali air that is in his system.
A great montage shows how they get picked on over and over again and again. During all of the hazing Mitch decides it is a good idea to start dating even though he leaves at the end of the semester. He likes to hit it and quit it I guess. He meets Nikki played by the future Playboy model Brittney Powell. They fall in love while he roller blades around her at a garden. He really loves those blades as you can see when he gets them sent from home. To be a teen again.
This is where the movie turns into every other teen movie, Mitch loses the girl because he tells everyone he could give two shits about Ohio, I thought for sure they would have agreed with him. Wiley loses his respect because he wouldn't fight Blane the leader of the Preps....Had to stop because I always laugh at guys named Blane and gangs named the Preps. Might as well call them the Sharks or the Jets, hell the Pink Ladies would do.
After the shit hits the fan Mitch has a dream about a shark or a kid or Popeye; I don't know he was high and I couldn't understand him. Oh yeah he was surfer on his bed, what an asshole. Goosen wins over the loser gang except Jack, who by the way is the brother of Nikki. They decide to go head to head in a roller blade race down the Devil's Backbone against the Preps...still laughing sorry. It is basically a big hill with a turn and then a pier at the end big deal. This is one thinks out loud who wrote this shit a roller blade company.
I won't ruin the end but lets just say it all works out in the end. I watched this movie the other day and have to say that it is timeless and not dated at all. Well except for the hair cuts the cloths, roller blades, music and the speech. Other than that the movie is pretty up to date with today's young people.
Till the next forgotten classic...
5/10
